absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
