At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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