and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
