And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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