the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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