wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
