Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
