you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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