I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
