i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
