we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
