I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
