I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
