Pants 0. Shit 1.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
