TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
