Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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