so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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