I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You can't just leave with hair like that
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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