Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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