Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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