he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
