I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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