Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Sorry my hands just texted you
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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