Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...

(703): View more from Virginia

oh

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(540): View more from Virginia

I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.

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(817): View more from Texas

he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!

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(708): View more from Illinois

Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?

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(801): View more from Utah

I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.

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(631): View more from New York

"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence

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(209): View more from California

I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.

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(407): View more from Florida

Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.

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