so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
