No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
