instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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