I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The air taste purple.
Randomize
