we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
