I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize