dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize