you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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