Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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