So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them