It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.