somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."