His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
