It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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