Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
