her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize