and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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