If i come over, it means nothing
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So much rum. So many feels.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
