we're blogging at a bar
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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