just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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