somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
