She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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