Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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