I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
