honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
