I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize