The maid of honor just puked.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
