Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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