your thong is hanging out like whoa
i jhust puked up my retainher.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
