I smell stomach acid.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
