she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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