She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
