I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
