a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
